Frequently Asked Questions

What is EFT?

EFT is Emotionally Focused Therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. It is an attachment-based, experiential form of therapy that incorporates the therapist as a “secure base”, a safe person to express scary emotions to, while you are building safety within the relationship. EFT targets emotional responses so that new communication patterns can be developed between you and your partner. There are many different kinds of therapy, and EFT incorporates several models. For more information on EFT, click here.

How long is each session?

Sessions are 45- 60 minutes. There are options to meet for longer periods and we will decide on this option together.

What do we do in our sessions?

We begin with a telling of your story, what brought you together, and a detailed relationship and attachment history for each of you, completed in individual sessions. From there, we build a plan for you that includes foundational communication skills - you’d be doing this if you knew how but you were probably never taught -  and a roadmap from where you are to where you want to be, meaning we work together to identify what EFT refers to as your “negative cycle”, the pattern in which you are stuck, and how to take corrective steps toward emotional safety together. The focus of each session isn’t on the content of your arguments but on the underlying needs you have from your partner. In other words, regardless of what you are arguing about, big or small things, your cycle of communication is the same. Identifying and correcting that cycle is what we work on in each session.

Here are some specific areas we will explore together:

• Secure Attachment and Your Inner Child

• Being Emotionally Mature (Owning Your Stuff)

• Relationship Injury Repair

• Self-Compassion (Busting Up Shame)

• Sex and Pleasure, (Yes, Please!)

How do I know when I’m ‘done’?

There is not a set length or number of sessions for therapy or a clear line that says, “FINISH” that you cross. There are several stages in the EFT model and we will communicate about where you are in the process together in sessions. Generally speaking, when you are communicating from a neutral emotional space and know what your negative communication cycle is, we move into deeper emotional work that gets you both reengaged and feeling safe being vulnerable. People often come to therapy with the goal of making negative emotions and experiences disappear, which sounds great but isn’t possible. The goal of our work is not to completely eliminate negative feelings but to create safety in your relationship so that you can talk about them together and ask for what you need.